The client is not happy with the hours of work you put in that project? The salad for lunch was just tasteless? The computer is going bonkers again? A little break from the day’s work might be all you need to calm down and unwind. These uplifting jokes will help you beat the lethargy and get a smile on your face. So get reading and have a great day!
You’re not fat; you’re just… easier to see.
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.
If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.
Don’t be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you- the world is round, just think that you’re driving first!
I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don’t see them crying about it.
However lonely you feel, you’re never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight.
How come “you’re a peach” is a complement but “you’re bananas” is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.