When you’re a lesbian, romantic relationships can be more complicated than they are for straight people. For example, you might notice a cute woman but have no idea if she is gay – and you’re not sure how to find out. On the other hand, your relationships can be less complicated because both you and your partner are intimately familiar with what being a woman is like. As you venture out in the dating world (or re-enter it as a newly single person), keep these seven dating tips in mind to ensure maximum success.
1. Know What You Want Out of Dating.
Many people aren’t sure exactly who they are, and that’s perfectly normal. A person’s identity, hopes and dreams are nearly always evolving, right? If possible, though, you should have some idea of what you want from dating. Are you looking for a few casual dates? Do you hope for a physical connection only? Are you seeking a long-term relationship? Knowing what you want means you can be upfront with potential suitors and have a better chance of achieving your desired results – whatever they may be.
2. Know Who You Are.
Wait, didn’t the first tip say it’s OK if you don’t know who you are? It sure did, but here’s the thing. You should at least be comfortable with a few key aspects of your personality, especially when it comes to how you are in a relationship. For example, do you have a tendency to jump into disastrous relationships with certain types of women? Take a look at your dating history to identify your patterns and behaviors before diving right into the dating pool. Ideally, you’ll bypass the same old mistakes from your past (but no doubt, you’ll probably make a few new ones!).
3. Be Open to Online Dating.
Online dating is popular with many lesbians. By signing up for lesbian-only sites or otherwise being able to identify as a woman interested in other women, much of the guesswork about “Is she or isn’t she?” is removed from the equation. In addition, your pool of potential dating partners expands with online dating, as long as you’re willing to widen your geographic reach. You need to be honest on your dating profile, though. Post recent photos of yourself instead of that perfectly angled photo from eons ago that doesn’t really reflect what you look like today. Attract attention to your profile with a unique, humorous story about yourself and what you’re looking for.
4. Apply boundaries.
The lesbian dating world is fraught with poorly drawn boundaries. For example, it’s not uncommon for lesbian woman to date the ex of a former partner. Such ingrained “closeness” is a good reason to make your first few dates all about you and the woman you’re dating. Refrain from talking too much about a former girlfriend and avoid certain locations where you might risk running into an ex or two. Get to know the woman you’re dating for who she is and minimize the chances of drama interfering.
5. Take Your Time.
An old joke about lesbians goes like this, “What does a lesbian bring to the second date? A U-Haul.” If your dating history is littered with relationships that got serious too quickly, try taking it slow. There’s no need to wonder whether the first girl you go on a date with is “the one.” Make yourself a priority, too, by continuing your usual activities and hanging out with friends. Spend plenty of time with your new sweetie, too, but hold off on moving in together too soon or saying “I love you” before you’re really ready. Dating someone new is exciting, but all the commotion can distract you from what you’re really feeling. Listen to your gut!
6. Make the First Move.
It’s great when a woman asks you out. It saves you the anxiety of having to do it yourself, right? However, you should follow suit by making the first move from time to time. While you may get rejected, putting yourself out there is a good way to build your confidence and widen your potential dating pool. And when the object of your affection says yes? What an amazing feeling! Also, remember to be direct. Now’s not the time to suggest “Netflix and chill.” Ask her out on a proper date.
7. Spend Your Money Wisely.
You can have an incredible date without spending $150 at a fancy restaurant. If you’re short on cash, spend your money on what matters. For example, if you’re going on a picnic, you could invest in a silky smooth blanket. Tailor your approach to the person you’re dating and what she likes; for example, if she likes poetry, a small book of poems makes for a sweet gift.
Whether you’re a dating pro or someone who’s getting back out there for the first time in years, the most important thing to remember is to have fun. You’re bound to meet a lot of interesting and eclectic women, but dating doesn’t have to be a race to the finish line (i.e. marriage). Just breathe and enjoy yourself!