This is part 8 and the last part of twelve articles for Assertive Communication Series.
This is a test that we recommend you take in different moments of your life. Test yourself right now. Then exercise your assertive rights, think your cognitive distortions through, practice assertive communication techniques in different situations in your everyday interactions, and come back to the test. Did you score differently? Keep record of your progress. You’ll notice that the more assertive you become, the more confident you’ll feel.
The following statements describe some typical situations we all encounter more or less frequently. For each question, take a moment to think how well the description fits your own usual behavior (or not), and assign a number to each answer:
1 – this doesn’t sound like me at all
2 – this mostly doesn’t sound like me
3 – I’m not sure
4 – This does sound like me a bit
5 – This is definitely me
- When someone’s trying to cut the line, I won’t let him/her.
- I express my opinion without hesitating.
- I complain when I’m not satisfied.
- Not being able to speak up just doesn’t happen to me.
- When I’m at a lecture of some sort, I always ask a question if I don’t understand something.
- I don’t find it difficult to say NO to other people’s requests.
- I express my feelings openly.
- I don’t feel uncomfortable if someone starts a conversation with me.
- If a friend of mine says something that upsets me, I speak my mind.
- I feel comfortable when I need to contact a government institution of some sort.
- I’m not afraid I would sound stupid if I asked a question.
- If I’m not satisfied with a service, I express my dissatisfaction.
- I don’t speak less than most of people.
- I don’t feel like I’m being taken advantage of at work, by my family, my partner or my friends.
- If someone asks me a favor, I take a moment to think about whether I feel comfortable doing it.
Now sum up all your answers – your scores can range between 15 and 75 points. If you scored above 45, you may consider yourself assertive, and the higher the score, the higher the assertiveness. If you scored below 45, you are probably either defensive or aggressive in most of the situations in your life. However, in all three cases, use this test as a guidance for improvement – look at your answers and see in which aspects of your interaction you ought to practice being assertive more. Keep your answers and compare them from time to time to see how much you have improved in being respectful towards others while taking care of yourself as well!